know no one but Krishna as my Lord, and He shall remain so even if He handles me roughly by His embrace or makes me brokenhearted by not being present before me. He is completely free to do anything and everything, for He is always my worshipful Lord unconditionally.

Sri Siksastakam Verse Eight
Reflections, by Rupa Sanatana Dasa

HAVING A PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD may seem impossible to most of us. Still, direct interaction with God in a confidential, friendly, and intimate way seems to be an attractive idea as throughout the ages religious sentiments have been a persistent factor in society, often despite relentless suppression. This indicates an indelible human interest in the Divine, an interest that knows various levels of intensity, from near self-centredness and pursuit of selfish pleasure, to surrender and service to the Lord sustained by true emotions of pure and unconditional love.

The Bhagavad-gita acknowledges these various levels of intensity in different places. In the Fourth Chapter, Lord Sri Krishna states the general principle of surrender when He says, ‘as all surrender unto Me, I reward them accordingly.’ Krishna also mentions ‘four kinds of pious men [who] begin to render devotional service unto Me’ and lists them as (1) the distressed, (2) the desirer of wealth, (3) the inquisitive, and (4) he who is searching for knowledge of the Absolute (Bhagavad-gita 7.16).

Such persons are certainly elevated; they obey the rules and regulations of scriptures and follow social and moral laws. However, Srila Prabhupada describes them as ”more or less” devoted to the Supreme Lord (Bg. 7.16, purport) — they may be devoted to God, but not unconditionally; they have personal aspirations to fulfill and are not free from desires for material profit, power, or prestige. Their devotional service is not pure because they approach God only in exchange for the things they yearn for.

Pure devotional service, however, is free from such motives, and therefore Lord Caitanya rejected them in verse four of His Siksastaka:

O Lord of the universe, I do not desire material wealth, materialistic followers, a beautiful wife or fruitive activities described in flowery language. All I want, life after life, is unmotivated devotional service to You.

To reach this highest goal of becoming a willing servant of the Supreme Personality of Godhead, shaking off all extraneous desires, the Bhagavad-gita advises us to adopt either the path of gradual development or to directly engage in devotional service to Krishna.

Bhagavad-gita describes the different levels of gradual elevation in devotional service beginning with the cultivation of knowledge, giving up the results of one’s activities and contributing to some good cause, working for Krishna’s satisfaction, and finally following the path of bhakti-yoga. Ultimately, the goal is to come to the level of pure devotional service. Krishna says,

But those who worship Me, giving up all their activities unto Me and being devoted to Me without deviation, engaged in devotional service and always meditating upon Me, having fixed their minds upon Me, O son of Prtha — for them I am the swift deliverer from the ocean of birth and death. (Bg. 12.6-7)

Such descriptions of surrender in the Bhagavad-gita culminate in Krishna’s conclusion to Arjuna to ‘abandon all varieties of religion and just surrender unto Me. I shall deliver you from all sinful reactions. Do not fear’ (Bg. 18.66). Accepting this, we should know no one but Krishna as our object of worship and should be convinced that He alone is the Lord who is ultimately worthy of our one-pointed, undivided, and unconditional love and service.

This last verse from Lord Caitanya Mahaprabhu’s Siksastaka exemplifies the consciousness of someone who has put this conviction into practice. He personally teaches us how to worship Krishna in separation, how to surrender ourselves to Him, and how to reach the sublime goal of love of God (krishna-prema), the level of the greatest intensity possible in our personal relationship with the Supreme Personality of Godhead.

This eighth verse of Siksastaka speaks about an extremely elevated state of consciousness and about the emotional experience of devotees on the topmost level of devotional service. Nevertheless, the verse also has relevance to those who are on less advanced levels of devotion.

Exasperating Embrace

O Lord of the poor [ Krishna], do what you like with me, give me either mercy or punishment, but in this world I have none to look to except Your Lordship.

— Srila Rupa Gosvami

Lord Caitanya, in the mood of Srimati Radharani, expresses intense separation and love in this verse of Siksastaka. Although we may not feel the same emotions, being too bound up in our material bodies and desires, still this verse has meaning for us. Lord Caitanya’s mood is that even though Krishna’s dealings are sometimes rough, His worship should never be given up.

As materially conditioned souls, we may not interact with Krishna directly, but we may still experience that He does trample us or handle us roughly — perhaps not by His personal embrace, but through the exasperating embrace of His material energy. The embrace is exasperating because living in this inferior energy is intrinsically frustrating.

In his commentary to Sri Isopanisad, Srila Prabhupada writes, ‘The miseries of this material world serve indirectly to remind us of our incompatibility with dead matter.’ A thoughtful person takes heed of such reminders, perceives the miseries of birth, death, old age, and disease, and strives to find a solution to them. Although a devotee in the material world experiences all the discomfort and suffocation of this embrace, he never reproaches Krishna. Instead, he silently tolerates , always considering Krishna to be his worshipful Lord, and prays,

My dear Lord, one who earnestly waits for You to bestow Your causeless mercy upon him, all the while patiently suffering the reactions of his past misdeeds and offering You respectful obeisances with his heart, words and body, is surely eligible for liberation, for it has become his rightful claim. (Srimad-Bhagavatam 10.14.8)

Much Ado about ‘Nothing’

Earlier Lord Caitanya cried out:

O Govinda! Feeling Your separation, I am considering a moment to be like twelve years or more. Tears are flowing from my eyes like torrents of rain, and I am feeling all vacant in the world in Your absence. (Siksastakam 7)

The notion of separation and the world feeling empty due to Krishna’s absence is present in the eighth verse also: Lord Krishna remains worshipable even though He makes us ‘brokenhearted by not being present before [us].’

In one sense a devotee sees Krishna everywhere, for he understands that everything is His energy, but an atheist denies the existence of God everywhere. The French philosopher Blaise Pascal (1623-1662) gave a description of the existential emptiness that arises from such denial and hints at ultimate fulfillment:

There is a God-shaped vacuum in the heart of every man which cannot be filled by any created thing, but only by God the Creator. . . .

Depending on our position on the scale of surrender to God, we experience this vacuum to greater or lesser extent. But whatever the extent may be, the lack we feel is a lack of God consciousness, Krishna consciousness — the vacuum has the shape of God and no other form can possibly match it to fill the emptiness. In turning away from God we have deleted from our hearts the person who is closest to us and to whom we are most intimately related. Krishna has seemingly disappeared from our heart, leaving a vacuous imprint of Himself. To the extent that we resurrender to Him, will we find the shapely void refilled.

The Supreme Personality of Godhead is referred to as sac-cid-ananda-vigraha — He is the very shape (vigraha) of eternity (sat), knowledge (cit), and bliss (ananda). The personal blissful aspect of God, bhagavan or Krishna, is His complete shape and the full realization of all His transcendental features, whereas eternity and knowledge pertain to His two subsidiary aspects of Brahman and Supersoul (Paramatma) respectively. Therefore, only a personal relationship with the Supreme Personality of Godhead can completely fill the vacuum in our hearts and alleviate our yearning for perfection.

By turning away from Krishna, we have turned our back on the spiritual dimensions of happiness, eternal life, and full awareness, so that we are now forced to content ourselves with their opposites, as Thomas Hardy expresses in Nature’s Questioning:

No answerer I. . . .
Meanwhile the winds, and rains,
And Earth’s old glooms and pains
Are still the same, and Life and Death are neighbours nigh.

Yet, we remain idealists. Always striving to fill the void with the stopgap of sense-pleasures, we never find any substantial or lasting delight, nor ultimate fulfillment, for we want eternal happiness in a world where everything has a beginning and an end. But despite our dissatisfaction with the world, we are constantly endeavouring to attain some ideal, be it political, scientific, philosophical or religious — we want to change things for the better (the ideal of perfection). Interestingly, we see that Western science actually strives for spiritual goals, namely eternal life by medical science, increase of knowledge by education, and the attainment of happiness through new inventions and greater comforts. However,

[s]ince the creation of the material world, everyone has been trying to attain a permanent life, but the laws of nature are so cruel that no one has been able to avoid the hand of death. No one wants to die, nor does anyone want to become old or diseased. The law of nature, however, does not allow anyone immunity from old age, disease or death. Nor has the advancement of material knowledge solved these problems. Material science can discover the nuclear bomb to accelerate the process of death, but it cannot discover anything that can protect man from the cruel hands of old age, disease and death. (Sri Isopanisad mantra 11, purport)

In the face of our existence in a frustrating, hostile universe void of perfection we ‘wonder ever wonder why we find us here!’ As Hardy puts it, we seem to be ‘framed in jest, and left to hazardry’ with danger at every step. Still, we have a strong urge to live eternally a perfectly joyous life in full awareness. This urge, this indelible human interest in the Divine, can only be explained by the godly shape of the vacuum in our hearts, the shape of the all-blissful, eternal, and omniscient Supreme Personality of Godhead, Krishna.

The topmost lovers of Krishna also feel something akin to the ‘God-shaped’ vacuum experienced by the rest of us, namely a vacuum brought about by God. Even though such devotees are very dear to Krishna, to increase their eagerness and love for Him, He may at times disappear, leaving them utterly depressed and desolate, but unable to forget Krishna for a moment. This could be compared to a pauper who gains a tremendous amount of wealth and then loses it; no doubt he will incessantly think of the lost wealth.

Krishna said to the gopis, the young cowherd maidens of Vrindavana and most elevated devotees,

My dear girls, understanding that simply for My sake you had rejected the authority of worldly opinion, of the Vedas and of your relatives; I acted as I did only to increase your attachment to Me. Even when I removed Myself from your sight by suddenly disappearing, I never stopped loving you. Therefore, My beloved gopis, please do not harbor any bad feelings toward Me, your beloved. (Srimad-Bhagavatam 10.32.21)

But the vacuum in their hearts is of an entirely different kind, because in the absence of Krishna such devotees actually experience His presence. In their intense meditation upon Him they are not actually separated from Him. Srila Prabhupada describes how the queens of Lord Krishna were always meditating on Him and that ‘they [could] never be separated from the Lord either by presence or by trance.’ (Srimad-Bhagavatam 1.11.31, purport) Similarly, by their constant thinking of Krishna the gopis were inseparable from the Lord when He was away in the forest for cow herding.

However, to nondevotees Krishna reserves the right not to be exposed at all. Although He always remains a friend and well-wisher of all living entities (see Bg. 5.29) and therefore never stops loving anyone, He still chooses to remain unseen to nondevotees due to their lack of devotion. Therefore He says, ‘I am never manifest to the foolish and unintelligent. For them I am covered by My internal potency.’ (Bg. 7.25)

Sometimes even wise, intelligent and elevated devotees find that during their devotional service they feel despondent and empty. For instance, after Srila Vyasadeva had compiled the original Vedic scriptures, including the eighteen Puranas, Vedanta-sutra, the Mahabharata, and the Upanisads he felt a vacuum:

Although Vyasadeva was an empowered divinity, he still felt dissatisfaction because in none of his works were the transcendental activities of the Lord properly explained. The inspiration was infused by Krishna directly in the heart of Vyasadeva, and thus he felt the vacuum. . . .

Vyasadeva had not adequately described the Supreme Personality of Godhead, Krishna, and this indicates that without the Lord and loving transcendental service to Him all is void.

Again, this eighth verse of Siksastaka is an expression of the highest emotion: pure love of Godhead in separation. Devotional service is simultaneously both the means to arouse this pure love of God as well as an expression of it — it requires a service attitude and a disposition of the heart according to the particular relationship the devotee has with the Lord. This relationship is pure to the extent to which the devotee is devoid of all material desires, impure knowledge and activities geared to personal gain.

Broken-hearted

The absence of the Lord should make us broken-hearted. But are we? Do we really strongly feel the need for God? Once, a young boy approached a sage who was meditating on the shore of a river. The boy asked, ‘I’m searching for God. Can you teach me about God?’ The sage remained silent but seized the boy’s head and kept it under water for a considerable time. Finally, the sage pulled the boy up and the lad gasped for breath. ‘You can come back’, the sage said, ‘when you need God as much as you were in need of air just a few moments ago.’ Without feeling the need for God, how will we ever feel broken-hearted because of His absence?

In Vaishnava literature there are many examples of topmost devotees who are brokenhearted due to Krishna’s absence. Srila Sanatana Gosvami describes how the apparent suffering of the inhabitants of Vrindavana is actually the highest pleasure:

How can anyone’s heart feel the urge to suffer more and more pain unless that pain is really pleasure? Outsiders may perceive a devotee’s ecstasy as suffering, and the devotee may speak and act as if it were, but the truth must be just the opposite. Judging from the strength of the devotee’s urge to continue suffering viraha-bhava [devotional service in separation], that bhava must in fact be the ultimate happiness. A material example may help clarify this point: Although the coldness of ice is the opposite of the heat of fire, ice placed on one’s body may feel as hot as burning coal. In this example, the burning sensation from the ice is illusory, the numbing coldness real. Similarly, the pain of viraha-bhava is a false appearance, disguising the reality of indescribable joy. The difference between the ecstasy of separation from Krishna and the common sensation of being touched by ice is that the deep feeling of viraha-bhava is known only to a few — to Krishna and some of His most intimate devotees. (Sri Brhad Bhagavatamrta 1.7.128, commentary)

Incorrigible Debauchee

Even though Krishna may not be present Lord Caitanya says, ‘I know no one but Krishna as my Lord. . . . He is completely free to do anything and everything.’ The word used in the original Sanskrit is lampatah, which means ‘a debauchee, who mixes with other women,’ because in Vrindavana Krishna used to dance with other men’s wives in the dead of night. This activity is worshiped as rasa-lila.

This should not be misunderstood. Since Krishna is the Supreme Personality of Godhead, the Absolute Truth, He is not answerable to any higher authority or moral law. Therefore, whatever He does is perfect and complete — He is beyond reproach. People sometimes criticize Krishna but

[s]uch a person must factually know the greatest of all, the Personality of Godhead, who is unembodied, omniscient, beyond reproach, without veins, pure and uncontaminated, the self-sufficient philosopher who has been fulfilling everyone’s desire since time immemorial. (Sri Isopanisad, mantra 8)

As such Krishna is incorrigible, that is, He is so good that He cannot be improved; He is not liable or open to correction and cannot be proved false. Of course, He is also incorrigible in the sense of ‘bad’ beyond correction or reform, for Krishna will always enjoy his pastimes in the way He chooses, and no one can change His eternal nature.

In the Srimad-Bhagavatam (10.33.29) Srila Sukadeva Gosvami mentions how ‘the status of powerful controllers is not harmed by any apparently audacious transgression of morality we may see in them, for they are just like fire, which devours everything fed into it and remains unpolluted.’ Krishna’s will is the ultimate basis of all morality or dharma, and therefore we should never criticize Krishna and impose our conceptions of morality upon Him, because

[w]hatever Krishna does, it is not sinful; it is transcendental, the most pure activity. The rascals who do not understand Krishna, they say that Krishna is immoral. They do not know what is Krishna and what is Krishna’s action. They do not know. They think, “Now, Krishna is engaging Arjuna to fight. Oh, it is immoral. Why Krishna should engage Arjuna in the fighting business?” Or “Why [is] Krishna engaged in dancing with the gopis? They are wives and sister of other men. It is sinful.” If we enjoy with others’ wife or others’ daughter or others’ sister, who is not [a] bona fide wife, if I want to enjoy life, that is illicit sex... Krishna is not doing that. But artificially, those who have no sense, they see that “ Krishna is dancing [in the] dead of night with others’ daughters and girls. Therefore He is immoral.” But that means he does not know what is Krishna. Krishna can do anything.

Just like the sun is very powerful. As you see in this material world, a sun, a material thing, and it is very powerful, but the sun is soaking water, taking water from the sea as well as from filthy place. So he is also evaporating water from urine. In filthy places, sewer ditches, he is evaporating water, as well as from the sea. But does it mean [that] by evaporating water from the sewer ditch and urine, the sun is becoming polluted? No. Rather, he is turning that place, what is called, prophylactic, antiseptic, by his sunshine. Similarly, even though somebody comes to Krishna with some purpose which is not moral, he or she becomes purified. And Krishna does not become immoral. This science has to be known by the rascals before calling Krishna immoral. (Srila Prabhupada, lecture on Bhagavad-gita 1.44, London, July 31, 1973)

Indelibly Enthroned

To conclude, the human ideals and interest in the Divine finds its ultimate religious expression in a personal relationship with Krishna and knowing no one but Him as our Lord. The highest level of intensity possible is that of unconditional worship and love of Him through devotional service in separation. A devotee on such an exalted level may display despair and heartbreak but such emotions are in fact the source of happiness. While lamenting such a devotee prays,

May the lotus-like feet of the Supreme Lord, Sri Krishna, the only gallant hero who enjoys eternal pastimes with all the Laksmi-devis (gopis), whose blooming beauty withers away the exquisite beauty of lotuses, and who is expert at fully convincing His devotees of His divine protection, be indelibly enthroned upon my heart and thus bestow upon me inexpressible happiness. (Krishna-karnamrta 12)

In this eighth verse of Siksastaka Lord Caitanya describes the feelings of the gopis as the highest mode of worship that can be rendered to the Lord. By rejecting sense gratification as a fallible means to fill in the vacuum, and chanting the Hare Krishna maha-mantra (practicing bhakti-yoga) — Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare / Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare — we will be able to cease our material existence and follow those topmost devotees to attain the eternally blissful realm of the Supreme Personality of Godhead, Sri Krishna.